It takes a lot of practice to learn that balancing act. The first deployment is the worst. Every single day seems like it lasts a year, you miss him terribly, and you cry constantly. After you get through it, though, you realize that you have yourself to depend on. You realize that you can handle any adversity or emergency, you can handle the finances and house, and you can take care of your family without any help. Knowing that builds such pride and self esteem in you. It was, honestly, the best gift I’ve ever been given. Now his deployments are a breeze (probably because I have such a positive outlook on it now). I swear that the couples that have made it through a deployment have the strongest marriages on the planet.

The hardest times having my husband gone (which is not only for deployment but also when he goes away for training and also “duty days” where he has to spend 24 hours on a ship, or mid-watches when he has to spend the night)… is when it’s time to go to sleep. I have a hard time falling asleep without “unwinding” by talking to someone.

I have never experienced an “act of kindness” by anyone while my husband was deployed. I usually try to make “welcome home” banners for friends returning from deployment, and have often babysat to give moms a much- needed break while their husbands are gone.

The thing I like best about the military life is the family-away-from-family that you develop. We all really come to rely on each other. I couldn’t imagine my life without those friends that I’ve made along the way. Most people that I know are actually closer to their real families too. I guess absence makes the heart grow fonder, not only for your husband but also for your family.

The thing that I like least about the military life is that while we complain about those countries that have dictators or that are run in a communist or totalitarian way, at each command there is one person in charge and there isn’t much individual freedom. (If you’ve lived in base housing, you know what I mean). We all work to make the people at the top happy and we all get paid (for the most part) the same no matter how hard we work. When you think about it, this is not capitalism and this is not a democracy. They pay you enough so that you can go out and buy nice things, but because you have no college education, you can’t get a job outside of being in the military. People get too scared of taking that risk for the lower pay (initially) in the civilian life without that retirement to supplement their income.

I, in all honesty, can understand why the protesters are out there demonstrating. I’d just like them to acknowledge and understand why our troops are out there too. We are all just fighting for what we believe in. There’s nothing wrong with that.

We’ve encouraged family and friends to enlist (and have mercy on us, for they actually went through with it!) I’ve also encouraged friends and family to date people in the military. It’s a good life. You get to travel and meet such a diverse group of people. In my experience, it’s the people that get out there and truly experience this life that love it. It’s the ones that sit at home waiting for things to happen that have a hard time, although that’s probably not only the military life that that applies to. Although every few years we have to decide if it’s best to stay in or get out, I wouldn’t give up what I’ve had for anything. I’m not ready for this adventure to end just yet!