As Mother’s Day approaches this year my thoughts, of course, turn to my own mother. She is such an incredible light in my life. She has loved me since before I even took my first breath. She is one of my absolute best supporters, and is a wonderful example of kindness and nurturing. Next my thoughts turn to my three children, Emily, Alicia and Gabriel Carlos. From the time I was small, I knew that some day I wanted children of my own. These three make Mother’s Day special for me, because they have helped each and every day to create and mold me into the mom I am. However, this year as I celebrate Mother’s Day with my son for the first time, my heart and mind are filled with thoughts of a woman that lives somewhere in Central America. I am forever indebted to a woman I have never met, who gave birth eighteen months ago to a beautiful baby boy she named Carlos Estuardo.

My husband and I adopted Carlos Estuardo (later changed to Gabriel Carlos-Estuardo) last October. We were given the name of Gabriel’s birth mom, but we know absolutely nothing else about her or her situation. As I have looked into my son’s eyes everyday for the last 6 months, I cannot help but think that I DO know some things about what she looks like. Perhaps she shares the same beautiful dark eyes that sparkle whenever he’s happy; perhaps she has the same full lips that form into the most gorgeous smile; or perhaps her voice has some of the same tones and inflections his does when he is so animatedly chatting away in his own little toddler language.

Mother’s Day is predominantly an American celebration, but on this special day I wish so much that I could meet Gabriel's birth mom, sit down and talk with her. There are so many, many things I would like to learn about her and her family, and there are so many things I would love to tell her about the son we share. I think so much about her health and safety and would like to know if she has a place to live, if she has money to buy food and if she is well. I would also love to hear about the family and ancestors she shares with Gabriel. If she wanted to tell me, I would love to listen to her story and feelings surrounding his relinquishment and adoption. I would make absolutely sure she knew that we have never judged her for her decision and that we are forever in gratitude to her for her incredible gift.

There are numerous things I would want to tell her about Gabriel. I would like her to know he is healthy and strong, that he eats very well and is growing like a little tumbleweed. I would tell her he smiles and laughs all the time, and that he constantly makes us smile and laugh. I think she would want to hear about his sisters and how he adores them. I also think she would like to hear all the silly and mundane things he does that make up his day. I would probably skip the part about how he loves to stick his mouth in the dog water bowl if I do not watch him like a hawk, but perhaps I would share how gentle he is when he is petting our little white dog’s belly. Most of all, I would want her to know he is a beautiful little boy, inside and out, and that our lives are complete with him in it.

On this Mother’s Day, my wish to sit and share with Gabriel’s birth mom will not come true, and I realize that logistically it may never come to pass. I also know the decision to hopefully meet his birth mom some day is not my decision; it is one that we will allow Gabriel to have full control over. However, on this day and every single day, I hope somehow his birth mom could know I love this little boy with my whole heart, that I will care for him and protect him forever, and that I and our shared son will never, ever forget the beautiful, selfless lady that lives somewhere in Central America.

Gracias, mi querida. Gracias con el corazón entero.

Lynette is a wife and SAHM of three children. She and her husband have two biological daughters and then adopted their son last year after experiencing secondary infertility. Mother's Day this year will bring a special joy as it her first one as the mother of three. Her thoughts will undoubtedly be introspective that day, and her heart will be filled with caring for someone she has never met but is forever connected to.